Jaaysis Mary and Joseph! Feir fook's sake wouldje lookit them feckin' nipples! True fact: Legend has it that the 'Hoff lactates green beer on this one day every year. I, for one, would love to suckle at those teats of plenty until I've gotten my fill of St. Patrick's Day cheer. [Thanks to Paddy O'Furniture for the picture]
Grossed out yet?
Tonight's plan is simple: I shall drink and drink and drink and drink and then I'll fight and fight and fight and fight. As the typical American observance of St. Pat's tends to cast my heritage in a fairly negative light, a more mature man would probably disparage the holiday altogether and stay at home with some corned beef, cabbage, and soda bread. I, however, am not a mature man. Not even close. I'm getting piss drunk tonight and probably doing lots of moronic stuff. I shall wake up a) in the emergency room, b) in the drunk tank, c) on the floor of my bathroom, fully dressed, or d) on the floor of your bathroom with my pants around my ankles.
May you have an equally grown-up holiday.
(Speaking of holidays, Sarah sent me a link to some great gift ideas for next Valentine's Day.)
Finally, thanks to Suze for sending me the YouTube of Billy Bragg performing "A New England" on Conan O'Brian the other night. So bummed I missed it.
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